.. [ day twenty-seven ] ..

Dear Ms. Regala, Sen. Debbie (regala.debbie@leg.wa.gov)

Today has been my 57th day living in the community. When I say living, I mean living, as emailed you several weeks back, the perpetuation that the DOC is keeping me homeless as punishment is quit disturbing.

Tomorrow, I have made a meeting with the CCS of my CCO. The discussion, "When is the DOC, in particular my CCO going to start mitigating my alleged risk in the community, opposed to managing it?"

It is clear that the legislature in giving the DOC discretion in approving addresses for sex offenders, did not do this as an act of vigilance. But, did that as a necessary administration duty with the necessary oversight accordingly; RCW 35A.42.050 RCW 42.20.040, RCW 42.20.050.

Today, in making a phone call to make an appointment with the supervisor of the Sexual Assault Unit, I had a brief and uncomfortable exchange that this supervisor, and her attempt to shift the burden of their duty to mitigate level III RMA sex offenders in the community. "It is your problem to find housing," she so quickly responded. "It is both are problems," I responded.

Mystified, I feel it is time to raise this issue to the level of capriciousness it deserves:

First I do not believe it was the intent of the legislature to have the DOC to simply manage sex offenders in the community. For that where true, then their would be no need to give CCO's discretion, or for the courts to protect that discretion, against capriciousness.

Second, the legislature has never intended for Homeless shelters, and the private dollars that fund them, to allow for the DOC to use them as drop off and late night baby sitting services. (Last night I witnessed a jail house argument amongst fellow inmates. Shelter-mates I mean. I turned to the guy in the pad next to me, "Don't you love it, just like old times.")

Third the legislature, in excluding non-violent sex offenses from the 880 foot rule, did not do this unintentionally. There is great National debate on residential restrictions and they lack of effectiveness. But one of them, at least in my case, is being very effective, the ability for the DOC to impose non qualifying punishment.

Fourth, and ultimately most critical in my complaint is that the DOC is acting with malicious intent and with deliberate indifference when they made me homeless after being restricted from the Capital Hill and University District areas. Its logic was due to a perceived fear of my risk to the community with homeless teenagers. Of course purely fallacious, and based completely on ad hominem attacks, its blatant attempt at appealing to mitigation of risk is founded only on personal considerations. But, logically, it is inconsistent with the result, which is my fifth point.

Fifth, by forcing me to homelessness, the DOC is enhancing the perceived risk of me being in the community. Acting, with complete indifference of the community at large and with malicious intent, by placing me around homelessness, the very reasons I was asked to leave the Capital Hill and University District areas.

Obviously, they are hoping for new alleged victims, or have intent to use an up and coming polygraph exam to justify their actions, or renew a wish to incarcerate, shut me up, and have ammunition to block my first amendment rights.

It is obvious, there is no trust in an organization that appears to act in the best interest of the public, but in fact are propagating the very issues surrounding risk. It is obvious, to me, that the DOC actions in removing me from an area where I had established living conditions by using an excuse that there where homeless teenagers around, is even inconsistent with the circumstances surrounding the alleged victim, who was not a homeless teenager. Unless of course the DOC has the perception that all homosexual teenagers are homeless? Or have a character issue that leads them to homelessness. Then I guess I can understand their highly defamatory characterization, otherwise its fallaciousness, and speaks directly to breaking a law!

In conclusion, in evaluating the 57 days of this issue I have coming to see a very clear picture: One, they are using homelessness and shelters to punish me. Two, they are continuing with this with malicious intent. Three, they have no wish to mitigate risk, as enhancing it, and potentially getting new victims, would serve their purposes greater. Four, if an RMA is so dangerous to the community, and he is incapable to secure housing, how does it not become the States responsibility, under the directive to mitigate risk, to not safeguard the community through solutions, not maintenance?

In my case, I commend the shelters I have relied upon, they are clear humanitrians and kind incarcerators. The community owes them a percentage of their much maligned DOC funding.

I contend that the system is broken, maligned and is abusing its discretion and I hope that my experience can help clarify and spark oversight in this issue.

I also, hope that you can help shed light on these abuses and fix it.

Respectfully,

Peace.

.. [ day eighteen ] .. Sippenhaft

So those that know what "Sippenhaft" is we must never forget where we been. I am not by any means a historian. In fact one of the classes I flunked in high school, besides PE - which is ironic in itself, was World History. But, as I grew older I found that I fell in love with foreign movies. In one I heard the term "Sippenhaft" and when I took German in college, I researched its use, and was shocked at the layer of social change that Germany withstood in its history.

I guess, today I have to admit, as I did my 5:00AM walk past the many tall buildings where I use to work, I looked up past my old office, and stopped in homage of a life I used to love. Passing, these familiar buildings, and the company I used to work for, made me realize that my past will never be my future. The tag of sex offender not only impacts every element of my future, but affects every intimate detail of my family as well.

To date I have emailed over 1,000 places telling them my story trying to find a place to live. I have sent well over 3,000 emails to people on Craigslist, telling everyone my story, trying to be up front, straight forward about my situation just to get an interview. To date I have gotten a handful of returns, from passionate people who right me back. Irregardless if it is a denial, the 'Thanks, thank you for your honesty, but, we can not hire sex offenders.' I always return a reply something to the effect of, 'Thank you, for responding, it is rare and very appreciated.'

Knowing that email is not the way to find a job. I guess, I have to admit, I am embarrassed by my situation. I feel I need to create a wall of acceptance before I feel safe to arrive at their door to say, "Hello, my name is "Mr. Sex Offender and as well precariously homeless".

Blessed with a strong family, I recognize I have been given gift that not too many people in my situation have. Seems that they are thousands of miles away, I have found the skills developed while coming out, has helped me cope with general look of disgust and hate when dealing with people who find out my situation. When a stranger say 'Thank You', every so often I feel feel guilty for not telling them everything about me. It crosses my mind that I need to give them "full disclosure", then I stop myself and think, 'Dude that is really f#ck## up', what is making you feel this way?"

Demonized for the alleged safety of our future, walking passed the very same buildings, where I once sat in large conference rooms adding important input to various large corporate meetings, I feel at odds walking now homeless in front of building where I once detailed solutions of complicated matters, sometimes finding it trite, I know see its mundaneness as exhilarating. Always aware of the line between arrogance and confidence, I seemed to have excelled under stress and pressure. It is ironic that those same characteristics are the same factors considered as a risk to reoffend [1] and became a predecessor for the prosecutor to claim, "You see Mr. Homelessness is a quick thinker and a master at ..." ah who cares, it is these very type of statements that has made me lose faith in the system as it pertains to sex offenses, lets get real! But, who would guess that my previous Corporate wrangling would be the ammunition I would need to get through the trenches of prison politics and the hierarchy of the system allowing, and in one instance allowing prisoners to call sex offenders "rape-o's".

In prison, I learned to be safe, I needed to run 34 miles a week, which gave me a bi of prison 'respect'. I did what they called 'my time not anyone else's'. And I toned my ability to dodge questionable stares of are 'you's?'and avoided 'Bubba's'. It appears corporate politics was the training ground for my future of three squares and a cot.

I remembered once being told how I was too aloof and not serious enough for Corporate America, even though it was my project that was under budget and ahead of schedule. I also remember staring now in front of the same building, where several weeks after that criticism I was deep in my elevator campaign with a VP that I needed to sign-off on a process that was a much needed customer solution. She talking to me as I was giving her my 30 second 500 foot view she ells me after my spill is over, 'You know your laugher is contagious.' Caught off-guard, I was more shocked by candidness, 'It is either that or cry' as I exited the elevator and my opportunity shut as she went up to the executives floor, I remembered the blank look on her face as the door shut wondering did I make my point? Or did I accomplish what I already knew, "Mr. Homelessness your a weirdo."

Today, my posting is late. I went to my usual restaurant, had my usual bacon and eggs, and had to suffer a loss of words. But only because the restaurant has two power outlets, and both where taken! I am actually glad that happened now, for the day ended up uncomfortable, and it gave me something to talk about. The new director of the UGM held the evening prayer meeting tonight, and him and I had a small discussion after he noticed me crack my computer open so I could make this entry.

Never a loss for words, I was very nervous. (After all, I am not the best Christian in town and living under his roof made me remember that I must live by their rules. Which being a little too opinionated on the subject matter of Christianity and homosexuality I did not in any way to have this discussion.)

The director a good looking gentlemen in his early or mid-thirties, ex military type, reminded me of a person who was too young for his position, but his polish assured me that he was a professional and m fears where unwarranted. In fact, he proved to be both compassionate and very socially aware of the impact of his work. I could see as well, that his ministry work, was genuine and a natural part of who he was.

Today I preoccupied myself with art ...
[1] The LSI used in Washington state in my opinion is more subjective than accurate, and finds the study by Colorado Department of Corrections, Validation of the Level of Supervision Inventory (LSI) for Community Based Offenders in Colorado: Phase II more than highly relevant. This study claimed in 1999, "The LSI was predictive of outcome with parolees but not community corrections offenders."

..[ day seven ]..DOC in their zeal to protect the community are putting the community at risk by abusing the generosity of homeless shelters...

Last night became my seventh night staying at the UGM homeless shelter, but only after extreme panic and much anxiety where I thought I had exhausted all my shelter options. After attending 5:30 mass at St. James, I rushed to the library to make some phone calls to the crises center to see if I could make reservations at the “Operation Nightwatch Emergency Shelter” (Operation Nightwatch Emergency Shelter) program since earlier I had learned that the UGM was full. Being a level III sex offender, as a sex offender I am required to check into a homeless shelter each night, or be out of compliance, thus incarcerated.

Calling the Crises line, the operator was both friendly and helpful, he both listened to my plight, that if I did not find a solution I would be incarcerated, and he immediately gave me the DESC number so that I could secure a ONES referral. (A required document in order to be accepted by the ONE shelter.)

I next called DESC, who's attitude was quite disconcerting. Or possibly just desensitized? I ye again explaining the situation, “I am a level III sex offender who has a requirement that I have to say at a shelter or I will be violated for noncompliance. Usually, I stay at the UGM, but forgot to call in time this morning and the shelter is now full. I was told I need to call you guys and get a voucher so that I can go tot he ONE shelter. I think I believe at 9 tonight? How do I go about doing this?”

“Well your too late, all the vouchers are gone. In order to get one you have to be here in the early morning. We only have a limited supply, and they run out fast.”

“Oh okay.” I reply, “But, I understand, but am a little confused, because the DOC officer I talked today told me that I should call you, or go by the ONE shelter by 9pm to register, if I have no place to go? I am stuck, if I do not find a place to stay, I will be violated and then incarcerated for non-compliance, and basically it isn't that I am not trying, I was at a meeting this morning seeking housing and the meeting lasted longer than I thought and I didn't call in time, is there anything I can do?”

“No.”, after what felt like a dead phone, I said “Thanks.”, to a nonassuring “Good luck.”
Basically desperate with an eminent violation and jail, I being now frustrated walked towards the escalator at the library. While gliding down my brightly yellow surroundings, I get lost in my thoughts, “WOW isn't this great, not only has DOC continually refused to approve my addresses, but now they have just accomplished their goal; finding a way to incarcerate me.”
Walking rejectingly out of the library I begin walking aimlessly towards first avenue reviewing exhaustively reviewing the many efforts I have made juggling the DOC and thier constant attempts to incarcerate, instead of what I feel is more important, helping to stabilizing my life. (They don't have to do it, but they surely shouldn't be hindering it.)

Emotionally feeling a revolving door of incarceration, I can not separate the fact that my belief that DOC is abusing the power the courts have given them by refusing to be very cooperative in approving an address then as the only alternative forcing me into a shelter. Now yet again being faced with another violation due to a logistical err that is more in DOC control than my own. (I was violated previously when I became homeless in 2006 when I provided them with a UGM slip that the person behind the counter didn't sign one of the lines. The DOC hearing board, although seeing it was the same hand writing, state to me that I was begin violated due to the fact she was not a hand writing expert and there was no signature.)

Without realizing it, lost in my defeat walking aimlessly, I find myself within a block of the UGM. Desperate and maybe not so defeated, I walk through the UGM front door walking to the counter and pleaing with the attendant to accept me.

Recognizing me he asks for my name and I can tell from his body language, that he has dealt with my type of desperation before. He looks through his list then tells me, “Well I don't know what you are stressing about, we have you here on the list and your mat has already been reserved, see is that your name?” pointing the clipboard to me I can see that in fact my name is on the list with many people behind me.

Walking into the chapel and then to the attended inside he hands me the very important get out of jail card, I for the first time was glad to have. My name has never looked so beautiful in print before.

Sitting during what felt like an eternal sermon, I looked around and saw a sea of men, some I recognized from jail others from prison. I started thinking; I wondered how many other of these guys are in my very same situation? How many here are really homeless? How many are here because they are made to be here, as some form of DOC punishment? How may are sex offenders just like me? How many have the same sign-in sheet I do? How many are paranoid that if they do not get it their piece of paper signed, they too will be violated?

So fast can this little white slip of paper be turned into a little red card that says, “Go straight to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200!”

Something is stirring my heart, and I have not quit yet grasped how to explain it.

After the prayer meeting a person I met at Monroe's violators camp comes sits next to be and chats. After a few words I realize and see the same clues that I have been feeling. He is as well a level III sex offender, his address too has been denied and he must stay at the shelter till one gets approved. I ask him, “So where are you trying to stay?, “at my mothers”, he tells me.

To me it seem ludicrous that there should ever be much of a problem to return to your mothers? “So, how long are they saying it will take to get your address approved?” Well, “They told me, when I called them from her house today, that 'I couldn't stay there!', and that it would take anywhere from seven to ten days to get approved?”

I reply, “Yeah, I have been waiting for that very same illustrious approval, but every time I go to see my CCO at my regularly scheduled meeting, she is mysteriously, 'out in the field'?”

Sound familiar?

When dinner is over, I do a last minute inventory of my surroundings and my mind is abuzz. What is going on here? Over the last week I have seen quite a few of these log sheets in peoples hands and I begin to formulate a conclusion of my week, but it is not until a bed night conversation with someone laying next to me and his freind do I begin to feel some resolve towards my adventure.

“You know,” the guy laying next to me starts to proselytize, “I come here a few times each week, not because I have to, but because I have a job that requires me to work at 4:30 am, and I don't want to have to wake up at 3:30AM everyday to get here on time. So I rather be inconvenienced than pay for a hotel a few nights a week. You know there are jobs where people here can work, but instead it is like if they are institutionalized, and they can't leave the shelter, it is easier to stay on the streets, come here get a few hots and a mat to sleep on. It now has become a way of life. I have seen people here for years and their still here. It is like the system is fostering their need to be homeless.”

Laying there, I recognize that although he may be abusing the homeless shelter himself, his freinds response strikes my interest, “Yeah, it is like people are mentally incarcerating themselves.”

Laying there I instantly want to turn on my computer and begin this entry.

There is no question in my mind that the DOC in failing to approve my addresses on purpose. There is no question in my mind that this is being done as a form of punishment. There is no question in my mind that being made to go to a homeless shelter has had absolutely no affect in my resolve to expose the abuses DOC implements without court or administrative oversight.

But, it was only until overhearing this conversation did I understand how to put it inot words. I have come to the conclusion that the DOC is using homeless shelters, along with the refusal to approve addresses for sex offender in particular level III sex offenders, as a way to mentally incarcerate and hold dominion over its offenders. It is as well a tool that the DOC uses to punish sex offenders further, many of whom do have homes an/or places to live, in order to mentally incarcerate them. They do this by being totally and completely insensitive to the plight of homelessness themselves, and they do this with total disregard to the good works and Christian values these programs attempt to instill to the homeless in Seattle. DOC has no business in instilling GOD or the fear of GOD into its offenders, by forcing them into homless shelters where GOD is pressed as their only solution.

In short people who donate money and any tax dollars being used and given to there homeless shelters are contributing to the DOC abuse of power which where given to them by the courts when giving them the authority to approve addresses of sex offenders, in particular level III sex offenders. And in this zeal, the DOC is propagating community protection problems in the community by using homeless shelters, to not only mentally incarcerate offenders in the community, but as well push religous values down their throat. In fact many offenders who I see in their who are forced and this false pretense can not in any help keep their minds open to relying on God as a solution.

There is no question in my mind, hat homeless shelters, who have reached out to accept these offenders, are doing so because they have great compassion to help people, and I commend them for their Christian compassion, and I hold them great gratitude for efforts. But, I reserve my opinion that by doing so that they may be in fact be connecting-the-dots for liability to someones future reoffending and are allowing the DOC to abuse its power in not properly addressing the necessary responsibility they have in making someone homeless by capriciously disapproving addresses and giving them absolutely no alternative but to flood homless shelters with these sex offenders.

..[ day two ]..Re-arrest Less Likely for Sex Offenders

Today I was given a potential apartment that I could move into by my therapist R. Unfortunately once going there and talking to the management, the manager determined that since my last CCO was over all the SO in that complex, that he would thought it would be risky to the program for him to submit me to the DOC. And that in all likelihood they would automatically not approve me, and more importantly he thought that with all the issues I have raised, it would be best not to bring the controversy to the complex, since DOC is prone to be vindictive.

I can understand the church groups concern. With over 7 level III sex offenders in the complex of 20 or so units, my insistence in being portrayed properly and fairly to the community may in fact be premature to a program that is trying to provide a place for sex offenders to live peacefully.

I give he program, the New Creation Ministry, and their House of Mercy some credit. In my over 1000 emails sent using Craigslist to find housing, I would have to say I received maybe less than a dozen responses, even though many have said, we really appreciate your honesty and candor.

It is clear, integrity means nothing when you are a SO, a murder-yes, drug addict-yes, a bank robber-yes, a ex-con-YES, but not them SO!

I am curious, how is it that this state, the state that pioneered the SO database, and has spent millions on it, after 17 years of funding, that this much needed tool has done nothing to affect SO recidivism rates or solve crimes. It is a fact that nothing has changed over the period of SO registration that has lowered reoffending rates of SO over the already the lowest rate amongst felons.

In an article titles, "Re-arrest Less Likely for Sex Offenders; November 16, 2003 THE ASSOCIATED PRESS Sex offenders are less likely to be rearrested after their release from prison than other criminals, a government study finds. The study found 5.3 percent of sex offenders were arrested for another sex crime after their release. [...] Still, the numbers appeared to dispute the popular notion that sex offenders are incorrigible. Even among child molesters, [...] only 3.3 percent of those released in 1994 were arrested again for a crime against a child. (Taken from Overview of the articles about Recidivism, IPCE).

Although, I have only just today found this link sourcing articles that appear in their database, I am curious, as to who or what direction these folks are coming from, and or how they play with the ATSA (Association for the Treatment of Sexual Abusers) organization that I so find creditable. In first glance, it appears they are just a research group, cataloguing etc., and even controversial opinions are important in understanding what is smoke and what is fire.

In general, if they haven't already, I think penologists who are dealing the SO should read, Before Conflict: Preventing Aggressive Behavior by John D. Byrnes. Lanham, Md.: Scarecrow Press. (BF 575 A3 B97 2002) was never read, or they would be rethinking their approach.

I am tired, today I had the unique experience of using my first Homeless shower, finally finding a place to do my laundry (closed till late August) and yes a place I can write these BLOGS, the U.S. Courthouses cafe has "free wireless- YeeeeS!"

Peace.