Today I got a letter in the mail, it said:
'Mr. Homelessness, ..., was tried and convicted of rape of child in the third degree and communicating with a minor for immoral purposes based on his sexual relationship with a young teenage boy. Mr. Homelessness now files this personal restraint challenging his convictions under King County ... on a number of different grounds.
.
Accordingly, the petition should be transferred to the Washington Supreme court for review and consideration....'
Is there justice? Well, this is what I personally feel. The first statement curdles my skin! Give it up folks. This young man was raped by the lover of the states witness who pointed at me to protect his lover, then the state did the same to protect this conviction.
Enough now.
Now that we are potentially moving into a phase where the Supreme Court, may elect to hear or not hear my arguments; that the prosecutor in this case, had no legal ground to demonize a gay recanter, anymore than she does to impeach a heterosexual female one (rape shield laws).
This case has the smell of a tragic one; where the prosecutor in her own zeal, not only created many new victims, but by protecting the very people who raped this young man, she empowered them to keep control of a young mans psychological life and ruin another's.
When America government was founded it built into it strict protections against, Star Chamber, type of governmental persecution.
I interject two feelings of thought here: First a statement made by a women activist in an article I read over a year ago, a concept I was formulating in my head while tracking the history of sex crimes legislation in Washington, the article titled "Impact of false rape complaints Jonathon Harper [published in The Press Saturday February 4, 2006.], quotes:
'Back in 1996, a writer in Feminist Review, Camille Guy, criticized the feminist movement for becoming ‘chauvinistic’' to the extent that criticism was not countenanced of the violent and notorious abduction of playwright Mervyn Thompson, “Feminist reframing of sexual abuse has served to bring the abuse problem into the open,'' Guy wrote. “But it has also contributed to false allegations and over-zealous interventions which have destroyed lives just as cruelly as has abuse. It is time we opened our eyes to that.''
Second, the reasons we give prosecutors such great power and discretion is that we expect them to be above the law, not just kind-of-above it but greatly above it, and surely never ever below it!
Besides that, Calvin Cline's new line is amazing, the colors make me cry ...
Peace.
Showing posts with label homosexuality. Show all posts
Showing posts with label homosexuality. Show all posts
Sunday, September 9, 2007
Saturday, September 1, 2007
.. [ day eighteen ] .. Sippenhaft
So those that know what "Sippenhaft" is we must never forget where we been. I am not by any means a historian. In fact one of the classes I flunked in high school, besides PE - which is ironic in itself, was World History. But, as I grew older I found that I fell in love with foreign movies. In one I heard the term "Sippenhaft" and when I took German in college, I researched its use, and was shocked at the layer of social change that Germany withstood in its history.
I guess, today I have to admit, as I did my 5:00AM walk past the many tall buildings where I use to work, I looked up past my old office, and stopped in homage of a life I used to love. Passing, these familiar buildings, and the company I used to work for, made me realize that my past will never be my future. The tag of sex offender not only impacts every element of my future, but affects every intimate detail of my family as well.
To date I have emailed over 1,000 places telling them my story trying to find a place to live. I have sent well over 3,000 emails to people on Craigslist, telling everyone my story, trying to be up front, straight forward about my situation just to get an interview. To date I have gotten a handful of returns, from passionate people who right me back. Irregardless if it is a denial, the 'Thanks, thank you for your honesty, but, we can not hire sex offenders.' I always return a reply something to the effect of, 'Thank you, for responding, it is rare and very appreciated.'
Knowing that email is not the way to find a job. I guess, I have to admit, I am embarrassed by my situation. I feel I need to create a wall of acceptance before I feel safe to arrive at their door to say, "Hello, my name is "Mr. Sex Offender and as well precariously homeless".
Blessed with a strong family, I recognize I have been given gift that not too many people in my situation have. Seems that they are thousands of miles away, I have found the skills developed while coming out, has helped me cope with general look of disgust and hate when dealing with people who find out my situation. When a stranger say 'Thank You', every so often I feel feel guilty for not telling them everything about me. It crosses my mind that I need to give them "full disclosure", then I stop myself and think, 'Dude that is really f#ck## up', what is making you feel this way?"
Demonized for the alleged safety of our future, walking passed the very same buildings, where I once sat in large conference rooms adding important input to various large corporate meetings, I feel at odds walking now homeless in front of building where I once detailed solutions of complicated matters, sometimes finding it trite, I know see its mundaneness as exhilarating. Always aware of the line between arrogance and confidence, I seemed to have excelled under stress and pressure. It is ironic that those same characteristics are the same factors considered as a risk to reoffend [1] and became a predecessor for the prosecutor to claim, "You see Mr. Homelessness is a quick thinker and a master at ..." ah who cares, it is these very type of statements that has made me lose faith in the system as it pertains to sex offenses, lets get real! But, who would guess that my previous Corporate wrangling would be the ammunition I would need to get through the trenches of prison politics and the hierarchy of the system allowing, and in one instance allowing prisoners to call sex offenders "rape-o's".
In prison, I learned to be safe, I needed to run 34 miles a week, which gave me a bi of prison 'respect'. I did what they called 'my time not anyone else's'. And I toned my ability to dodge questionable stares of are 'you's?'and avoided 'Bubba's'. It appears corporate politics was the training ground for my future of three squares and a cot.
I remembered once being told how I was too aloof and not serious enough for Corporate America, even though it was my project that was under budget and ahead of schedule. I also remember staring now in front of the same building, where several weeks after that criticism I was deep in my elevator campaign with a VP that I needed to sign-off on a process that was a much needed customer solution. She talking to me as I was giving her my 30 second 500 foot view she ells me after my spill is over, 'You know your laugher is contagious.' Caught off-guard, I was more shocked by candidness, 'It is either that or cry' as I exited the elevator and my opportunity shut as she went up to the executives floor, I remembered the blank look on her face as the door shut wondering did I make my point? Or did I accomplish what I already knew, "Mr. Homelessness your a weirdo."
Today, my posting is late. I went to my usual restaurant, had my usual bacon and eggs, and had to suffer a loss of words. But only because the restaurant has two power outlets, and both where taken! I am actually glad that happened now, for the day ended up uncomfortable, and it gave me something to talk about. The new director of the UGM held the evening prayer meeting tonight, and him and I had a small discussion after he noticed me crack my computer open so I could make this entry.
Never a loss for words, I was very nervous. (After all, I am not the best Christian in town and living under his roof made me remember that I must live by their rules. Which being a little too opinionated on the subject matter of Christianity and homosexuality I did not in any way to have this discussion.)
The director a good looking gentlemen in his early or mid-thirties, ex military type, reminded me of a person who was too young for his position, but his polish assured me that he was a professional and m fears where unwarranted. In fact, he proved to be both compassionate and very socially aware of the impact of his work. I could see as well, that his ministry work, was genuine and a natural part of who he was.
Today I preoccupied myself with art ...
[1] The LSI used in Washington state in my opinion is more subjective than accurate, and finds the study by Colorado Department of Corrections, Validation of the Level of Supervision Inventory (LSI) for Community Based Offenders in Colorado: Phase II more than highly relevant. This study claimed in 1999, "The LSI was predictive of outcome with parolees but not community corrections offenders."
Tuesday, August 21, 2007
.. [ day six ] .. You always know when you have been somewhere too long ... you become part of the gossip!
Last night it became increasingly evident that I am no longer just a person in the swarm of the night at the UGM homeless shelter. It appears I have been noticed by one of the residences homeless regulars, and that person dislikes I sit there and write on my BLOG. So he complained and I was put into another room where the King County wireless network doesn't reach.
You always know when you have been somewhere too long ... you become part of the gossip!
I got an email from a person in Bellevue that is considering allowing me to live at her condo. I guess, other than the $800 she is asking for rent per month, I have a concern she is a women. Not that it matters to me on what sex she is but with a conviction of rape is it risky? Irregardless of my innocence or guilt, when you have been convicted of a rape crime, even ROC III on a boy the word "rape" has a huge prejudicial affect on people? When the legislature in '82, or thereabouts, removed the concept of of statutory rape, which it concluded people became too complacent about and it became difficult for prosecutors to get convictions, the change to a just rape with various degrees of that crime, helped eliminate the concept that consent could be used as an inferred defense.
I recently read a very controversial article by David Tuller, that describes the difference in society rules as it pertains to men and female relationships. There is no question that the perceptions of how men deal with relationships is completely different than that of how me do. But, you can not question that the majority of our domestic violence and rape laws are written from the perspective once attributed as being part of a "weaker sex".
In 2002 a Harvard Associate Professor, Kenji Yoshino, writes about the impact of legislation as it relates to Gays in general. It is important to note that the distinction found in Tuller's piece, and not to dissimilar than the conclusion found in Yoshino, piece. In his introduction, Yoshino states, "So it is with great trepidation but greater conviction that I come to do so. For the past few years, I have been working on issues relating to sexual minorities. That work has persuaded me that gays (by which I mean both lesbians and gay men) can proffer a new perspective on the relationship between assimilation and discrimination. I believe that the gay context demonstrates in a particularly trenchant manner that assimilation can be an effect of discrimination as well as an evasion of it."(Covering, Kenji Yoshino, Associate Professor, Yale Law School, The Yale Law Journal [Vol. 111: 769, 770, 2002]).
Both are a must read, if you have any care of civil rights as they concern homosexual men and the law as it is written today.
Peace.
You always know when you have been somewhere too long ... you become part of the gossip!
I got an email from a person in Bellevue that is considering allowing me to live at her condo. I guess, other than the $800 she is asking for rent per month, I have a concern she is a women. Not that it matters to me on what sex she is but with a conviction of rape is it risky? Irregardless of my innocence or guilt, when you have been convicted of a rape crime, even ROC III on a boy the word "rape" has a huge prejudicial affect on people? When the legislature in '82, or thereabouts, removed the concept of of statutory rape, which it concluded people became too complacent about and it became difficult for prosecutors to get convictions, the change to a just rape with various degrees of that crime, helped eliminate the concept that consent could be used as an inferred defense.
I recently read a very controversial article by David Tuller, that describes the difference in society rules as it pertains to men and female relationships. There is no question that the perceptions of how men deal with relationships is completely different than that of how me do. But, you can not question that the majority of our domestic violence and rape laws are written from the perspective once attributed as being part of a "weaker sex".
In 2002 a Harvard Associate Professor, Kenji Yoshino, writes about the impact of legislation as it relates to Gays in general. It is important to note that the distinction found in Tuller's piece, and not to dissimilar than the conclusion found in Yoshino, piece. In his introduction, Yoshino states, "So it is with great trepidation but greater conviction that I come to do so. For the past few years, I have been working on issues relating to sexual minorities. That work has persuaded me that gays (by which I mean both lesbians and gay men) can proffer a new perspective on the relationship between assimilation and discrimination. I believe that the gay context demonstrates in a particularly trenchant manner that assimilation can be an effect of discrimination as well as an evasion of it."(Covering, Kenji Yoshino, Associate Professor, Yale Law School, The Yale Law Journal [Vol. 111: 769, 770, 2002]).
Both are a must read, if you have any care of civil rights as they concern homosexual men and the law as it is written today.
Peace.
Wednesday, August 15, 2007
sweat anticipation of my first night of homelessness
"It is like I have to micromanage the DOC so that they do not act capriciously against my best interest. In all my years of working with people in the private and public sector, I have never seen a situation where the courts have given authority to a group of people who are accountable only to themselves. It is a self-policing, self-regulating organization, that has a very lose set of rules governed by a few, apparently meaning well administrative types."
Today is August 14, 2007, and it is early morning of the last night of being a non-homeless American. Although, I have been capriciously elevated to a level III sex offender, for over a year now, I have had a very difficult time in stabilizing a career or a home. Tomorrow morning, I will wake up by 8am from the bed my 72 year mother has provided for me in the only Motel in all of down town Seattle, Washington that would accept me. My mother and I walked and talked to well over 50 hotels and motels in down town Seattle and the Aurora district, failing to find a place that would take me as a level III sex offender. We submitted well over 200 postings on Craigslist, only to receive maybe 5 responses, all "sorry we already rented the room.”
We used a kind of not-telling-the-whole-truth at first tactic when talking to the motels, and it was fascinating to see the OK migrate to a "UHM no". The transparency of the business owners was quite alarming. First, my mother who is small in stature, a 5'2 Hispanic Grey haired women who was beautiful in her day, nut since my brothers murder in 2002, has deteriorated fast. During certain glimpses of sunlight I can see the smile that gave her beauty during her youth. Now the once vibrant smile has turned to disappointing wrinkles.
When talking to these hoteliers I usually started off with that I needed an address, since I had a probation officer who would have to confirm the address. Then I would proceed to telling them about my conviction. Typically, if not always, the reply is always met with "its OK". But, when I finally tell them that I am a level III sex offender and then give them a brief overview of the challenges I have been faced with they always change their minds.
Exhaustively approaching over 50 hotel and motels; places, in the past I would never allow my mother to hang her hat, places I would never leave my suit cases alone in, places where murder convicts are never given a second nod when asked to "sign here", places where I find signs posted that open prostitution is not allowed, places where live-in managers claim how safe their motels are and where they allow their 11 and 12 year sons and daughters to live with them, and places where I found open wrappers of condoms hidden in corners of the dark stair case we walked to check-a-room-out. They even denied us.
I live the humility of what my life has become. And now I have to make the distinction that I am not homeless, but I have been made to be homeless.
This homeless journey began in January of 2004, when I was wrongfully accused of having a sexual relationship with a young man named B. He at the time was 14, and when I met him just after my 42nd birthday, he had just come-out, 4 months previously.
When dealing with the issue of being gay, and coming out, the whole experience takes around 2 years to over come all the social, familial, and personal struggles surrounding the crises. I have often talked to people just coming out emphasizing that being gay shouldn't be a crises, but if they accepted it is, they can understand how to adjust better. They can put into perspective the hugely magnified as unacceptable emotions that are typically found in heterosexuality and its coming-out to sexuality period.
Irregardless of the age someone decides to come-out. The indifference between the two, suffers no ageism, and is hugely cultural. With the onset of youth organizations such as the Gay-Straight-Alliance (GSA), which was founded in part by KP a great friend of mine in Salt lake City, Utah and her high school lover Mikel, the inroads to the coming-out experience have only changed slightly since I was a young man in my late teens. Seattle, in my opinion, although at first appearance appears to be a very progressive city, issues such as gay marriage have meet a strong resistance and city acceptance ordinances for same-sex health benefits only recently narrowly passed into law. Issues that where addressed light years ahead from more conservative cities where I grew up, and came out myself.
I remember, my first gay right rally in front of City Counsel in Arizona. The issue: adopting a city ordinance for same-sex health benefits. The year 1991. Me and 10,000 other faggots and supporters. I was afraid the world would come down on me. It did not.
12 years later I met B, he told me that he thought it would probably not be a very good idea to befriend him, "You probably don't want to be my friend, because, like two weeks ago, my parents checked me into a hospital ... because I had a really bad cutting episode, after they would not let me see Scott any more, and they said I was trying to kill myself."
Hearing this over a cup of coffee, at a popular side walk cafe on Broadway, not 90 minutes after sitting over a cup of coffee, I was stunned with the ease this young mans' willingness to voice a clear understanding of some of the prejudices people would have on his self-mutilation. Along with his candidness about how he felt hurt by the fact his parents would forbid him from seeing his first crush, Scott. Listening to this young man, I saw a person who was typical of many young coming-out men his age, but different. It took several months for me to see the things, that gave him life experiences beyond his years. His abuse as a young child, the emotions he portrayed in relating the public showing of acceptance surrounding him being gay and the private show of anger that I witnessed involving CPS.
Initially I assured him, that his personal life in regards to his cutting, was something I had no knowledge, but it clearly was not anything that would cause me to create any judgment against him as an adult. I proceeded to encourage him to investigate the ideas his therapist old him about the subject matter, I went online and gave him articles about other cutters to read, and I told him that its ok, I do not judge. Within time he confessed to me his early years of abuse, from aged 6-10, and I assured him that telling his parents and his therapist where important. And over the very short period of time, I worked at giving him the understanding how to talk about to them, more than me would be good, and that the life-experiences he now possessed could be beneficial to talk about. He said, "in time" I knew he needed time, and that it was important for me to not betray his ability to act when he was ready.
So initially, I asked the obvious questions: How does it feel to cut? Does it take away a feeling? Does it create new feelings? Does it numb your mind? Are you upset about something? His answers where candidly straight forward and honest: “I like how it feels!” My responses where always quite theatrical and as we laughed through the "ouch's", "oh's-oh's-oh's", "damn I could never do that” and “Shit – I am a wimp!" I could see that B needed someone, an adult, to talk to – who like him was gay – and not afraid to hear his side.
That first day, we laughed, until I got the call from my employee who I was waiting for so I could take him to his birthday dinner. I told B that he should meet him, as he was turning 19, was going to start working at Abercrombie & Fitch, was gay and a great guy, who just recently came-out himself was looking to meet gay people for friendships only and that he was welcome to come to dinner with us if he wanted.
He joined us, and we all went to a dinner to celebrate my employees birthday, which was a long standing tradition, with me and my employees.
None of this of course answers directly how I became a sex offender or for that matter homeless, and how they relate, and of course they surely do.
I first want to answer the latter question as it is the catalyst that made me start this blog: The Department of Corrections has not been willing to approve an address for me to live. My community custody officer (CCO) has not been completely honest about what she has done in regards to my transfer to Arizona, and has been using a "the check is in the mail" technique, where it is apparent one thing is being said and communicated within the DOC and then another to myself.
For example, she said I will submit an emergency transfer, since we will not let you live in the University District or the Capital Hill area anymore then she allegedly "faxed the paper work". I do believe that something was faxed, quit possibly the paperwork but to where it went no one really knows. But, I can tell you we do know that for 10 days no paper work arrived in Arizona, where we had someone waiting to receive it. And what we as well know is that my mom paid $120 a night for a hotel anticipating the two day approval time given to us once the DOC received the documents. I believed in good faith, that the paperwork was submitted as promised. And I do know once Arizona received the paper work they responded within one day, well under the two days as required.
I find it fascinating that this CCO, stated to me she faxed it to the ICAOS folks in Arizona, then later states she faxed it to Olympia, all the while her stories are never straight, but semantically correct. But, it has always been my believe that if in fact the check was in the mail, if it hasn't been received 14 days after it was said to be sent, that in fact possibly it was never sent. It is clear that I received an email form AZ ICAOS that supports the theory it was never sent, until a day before they responded to the initial request..
I am homeless now, and the recipient of the effects of this CCO's actions. To compound it she has added a one mile radius from a school or park requirement, and has refused addresses I have given to them, all of which already have SO living in the area. $4000 of hotel rooms have been accumulated. Something, obviously that could have been prevented, if this CCO would have been forthright. 10 days into the in action, I approached the CCS (supervisor)and she said that I "should prepare for an alternative housing situation, and what have I been doing with my time?". This abrupt behavior gave me the indication that they were in fact stalling the whole transfer.
I quickly confronted her with the concept that it was obviously they where attempting to block my transfer, and that I wanted to understand why the transfer had not been initiated. She claimed it was and that she would email Interstate compact of Washington's to see where it was? The fact remains, that it was not until that phone call did I get a confirmation from Arizona, whom I was calling daily, telling me finally that they had received the necessary paper work.
It is like I have to micromanage the DOC so that they do not act capriciously against my best interest. In all my years of working with people in the private and public sector, I have never seen a situation where the courts have given authority to a group of people who are accountable only to themselves. It is a self-policing, self-regulating organization, that has a very lose set of rules governed by a few, apparently meaning well administrative types.
Unfortunately, what you really have is a set of people who are abusing their power given to them by the courts, who have compounded their behavior by a self serving policy of seeking a solution "at the lowest level."
In Corporate America, this type of philosophy would be classified in the waste paper basket as being nothing more that "circular logic" that contributed to the problem, rather than resolving it. At its very core the principle of seem a solution at the lowest level, is reliant on a principle of complete honesty. But, what if you have a system where semantic interpretations are problematic? Can that system support the necessary ingredient of honesty, needed for it to be successful? I propose, from what i have seen in practice by the special sex offender unit in Washington State, the answer is NO.
It is unfortunate, that in a very few cases, will the complaining supervisee ever see relief from the courts. For the courts have a system amongst itself where a gate-keeper (acting judge, or and administrative type given some quasi judicial power) always takes the side that on appellant bears the burden of proof is on the complaining part to prove a constitutional right has occurred. At first glance this though would be intuitively correct, but in practice there exists a real problem where a petitioner must first understand the legal wrangling necessary to show such a violation, then the next must have the where with all of documenting the abuses. The courts perhaps already know this, and perhaps so does the DOC, hence yet another example of abuse.
Wrapping it up in a nut shell - this is why I am homeless. I am not willing to sit here and play dead, and it appears DOC and the CCO's (6 so far) have all have had enough of my legal shenanigans, so much so that they are willing to push the legal envelope and make an effort to make me suffer. The real issue, is that it is obvious, that with suffrage comes a price.
Today is August 14, 2007, and it is early morning of the last night of being a non-homeless American. Although, I have been capriciously elevated to a level III sex offender, for over a year now, I have had a very difficult time in stabilizing a career or a home. Tomorrow morning, I will wake up by 8am from the bed my 72 year mother has provided for me in the only Motel in all of down town Seattle, Washington that would accept me. My mother and I walked and talked to well over 50 hotels and motels in down town Seattle and the Aurora district, failing to find a place that would take me as a level III sex offender. We submitted well over 200 postings on Craigslist, only to receive maybe 5 responses, all "sorry we already rented the room.”
We used a kind of not-telling-the-whole-truth at first tactic when talking to the motels, and it was fascinating to see the OK migrate to a "UHM no". The transparency of the business owners was quite alarming. First, my mother who is small in stature, a 5'2 Hispanic Grey haired women who was beautiful in her day, nut since my brothers murder in 2002, has deteriorated fast. During certain glimpses of sunlight I can see the smile that gave her beauty during her youth. Now the once vibrant smile has turned to disappointing wrinkles.
When talking to these hoteliers I usually started off with that I needed an address, since I had a probation officer who would have to confirm the address. Then I would proceed to telling them about my conviction. Typically, if not always, the reply is always met with "its OK". But, when I finally tell them that I am a level III sex offender and then give them a brief overview of the challenges I have been faced with they always change their minds.
Exhaustively approaching over 50 hotel and motels; places, in the past I would never allow my mother to hang her hat, places I would never leave my suit cases alone in, places where murder convicts are never given a second nod when asked to "sign here", places where I find signs posted that open prostitution is not allowed, places where live-in managers claim how safe their motels are and where they allow their 11 and 12 year sons and daughters to live with them, and places where I found open wrappers of condoms hidden in corners of the dark stair case we walked to check-a-room-out. They even denied us.
I live the humility of what my life has become. And now I have to make the distinction that I am not homeless, but I have been made to be homeless.
This homeless journey began in January of 2004, when I was wrongfully accused of having a sexual relationship with a young man named B. He at the time was 14, and when I met him just after my 42nd birthday, he had just come-out, 4 months previously.
When dealing with the issue of being gay, and coming out, the whole experience takes around 2 years to over come all the social, familial, and personal struggles surrounding the crises. I have often talked to people just coming out emphasizing that being gay shouldn't be a crises, but if they accepted it is, they can understand how to adjust better. They can put into perspective the hugely magnified as unacceptable emotions that are typically found in heterosexuality and its coming-out to sexuality period.
Irregardless of the age someone decides to come-out. The indifference between the two, suffers no ageism, and is hugely cultural. With the onset of youth organizations such as the Gay-Straight-Alliance (GSA), which was founded in part by KP a great friend of mine in Salt lake City, Utah and her high school lover Mikel, the inroads to the coming-out experience have only changed slightly since I was a young man in my late teens. Seattle, in my opinion, although at first appearance appears to be a very progressive city, issues such as gay marriage have meet a strong resistance and city acceptance ordinances for same-sex health benefits only recently narrowly passed into law. Issues that where addressed light years ahead from more conservative cities where I grew up, and came out myself.
I remember, my first gay right rally in front of City Counsel in Arizona. The issue: adopting a city ordinance for same-sex health benefits. The year 1991. Me and 10,000 other faggots and supporters. I was afraid the world would come down on me. It did not.
12 years later I met B, he told me that he thought it would probably not be a very good idea to befriend him, "You probably don't want to be my friend, because, like two weeks ago, my parents checked me into a hospital ... because I had a really bad cutting episode, after they would not let me see Scott any more, and they said I was trying to kill myself."
Hearing this over a cup of coffee, at a popular side walk cafe on Broadway, not 90 minutes after sitting over a cup of coffee, I was stunned with the ease this young mans' willingness to voice a clear understanding of some of the prejudices people would have on his self-mutilation. Along with his candidness about how he felt hurt by the fact his parents would forbid him from seeing his first crush, Scott. Listening to this young man, I saw a person who was typical of many young coming-out men his age, but different. It took several months for me to see the things, that gave him life experiences beyond his years. His abuse as a young child, the emotions he portrayed in relating the public showing of acceptance surrounding him being gay and the private show of anger that I witnessed involving CPS.
Initially I assured him, that his personal life in regards to his cutting, was something I had no knowledge, but it clearly was not anything that would cause me to create any judgment against him as an adult. I proceeded to encourage him to investigate the ideas his therapist old him about the subject matter, I went online and gave him articles about other cutters to read, and I told him that its ok, I do not judge. Within time he confessed to me his early years of abuse, from aged 6-10, and I assured him that telling his parents and his therapist where important. And over the very short period of time, I worked at giving him the understanding how to talk about to them, more than me would be good, and that the life-experiences he now possessed could be beneficial to talk about. He said, "in time" I knew he needed time, and that it was important for me to not betray his ability to act when he was ready.
So initially, I asked the obvious questions: How does it feel to cut? Does it take away a feeling? Does it create new feelings? Does it numb your mind? Are you upset about something? His answers where candidly straight forward and honest: “I like how it feels!” My responses where always quite theatrical and as we laughed through the "ouch's", "oh's-oh's-oh's", "damn I could never do that” and “Shit – I am a wimp!" I could see that B needed someone, an adult, to talk to – who like him was gay – and not afraid to hear his side.
That first day, we laughed, until I got the call from my employee who I was waiting for so I could take him to his birthday dinner. I told B that he should meet him, as he was turning 19, was going to start working at Abercrombie & Fitch, was gay and a great guy, who just recently came-out himself was looking to meet gay people for friendships only and that he was welcome to come to dinner with us if he wanted.
He joined us, and we all went to a dinner to celebrate my employees birthday, which was a long standing tradition, with me and my employees.
None of this of course answers directly how I became a sex offender or for that matter homeless, and how they relate, and of course they surely do.
I first want to answer the latter question as it is the catalyst that made me start this blog: The Department of Corrections has not been willing to approve an address for me to live. My community custody officer (CCO) has not been completely honest about what she has done in regards to my transfer to Arizona, and has been using a "the check is in the mail" technique, where it is apparent one thing is being said and communicated within the DOC and then another to myself.
For example, she said I will submit an emergency transfer, since we will not let you live in the University District or the Capital Hill area anymore then she allegedly "faxed the paper work". I do believe that something was faxed, quit possibly the paperwork but to where it went no one really knows. But, I can tell you we do know that for 10 days no paper work arrived in Arizona, where we had someone waiting to receive it. And what we as well know is that my mom paid $120 a night for a hotel anticipating the two day approval time given to us once the DOC received the documents. I believed in good faith, that the paperwork was submitted as promised. And I do know once Arizona received the paper work they responded within one day, well under the two days as required.
I find it fascinating that this CCO, stated to me she faxed it to the ICAOS folks in Arizona, then later states she faxed it to Olympia, all the while her stories are never straight, but semantically correct. But, it has always been my believe that if in fact the check was in the mail, if it hasn't been received 14 days after it was said to be sent, that in fact possibly it was never sent. It is clear that I received an email form AZ ICAOS that supports the theory it was never sent, until a day before they responded to the initial request..
I am homeless now, and the recipient of the effects of this CCO's actions. To compound it she has added a one mile radius from a school or park requirement, and has refused addresses I have given to them, all of which already have SO living in the area. $4000 of hotel rooms have been accumulated. Something, obviously that could have been prevented, if this CCO would have been forthright. 10 days into the in action, I approached the CCS (supervisor)and she said that I "should prepare for an alternative housing situation, and what have I been doing with my time?". This abrupt behavior gave me the indication that they were in fact stalling the whole transfer.
I quickly confronted her with the concept that it was obviously they where attempting to block my transfer, and that I wanted to understand why the transfer had not been initiated. She claimed it was and that she would email Interstate compact of Washington's to see where it was? The fact remains, that it was not until that phone call did I get a confirmation from Arizona, whom I was calling daily, telling me finally that they had received the necessary paper work.
It is like I have to micromanage the DOC so that they do not act capriciously against my best interest. In all my years of working with people in the private and public sector, I have never seen a situation where the courts have given authority to a group of people who are accountable only to themselves. It is a self-policing, self-regulating organization, that has a very lose set of rules governed by a few, apparently meaning well administrative types.
Unfortunately, what you really have is a set of people who are abusing their power given to them by the courts, who have compounded their behavior by a self serving policy of seeking a solution "at the lowest level."
In Corporate America, this type of philosophy would be classified in the waste paper basket as being nothing more that "circular logic" that contributed to the problem, rather than resolving it. At its very core the principle of seem a solution at the lowest level, is reliant on a principle of complete honesty. But, what if you have a system where semantic interpretations are problematic? Can that system support the necessary ingredient of honesty, needed for it to be successful? I propose, from what i have seen in practice by the special sex offender unit in Washington State, the answer is NO.
It is unfortunate, that in a very few cases, will the complaining supervisee ever see relief from the courts. For the courts have a system amongst itself where a gate-keeper (acting judge, or and administrative type given some quasi judicial power) always takes the side that on appellant bears the burden of proof is on the complaining part to prove a constitutional right has occurred. At first glance this though would be intuitively correct, but in practice there exists a real problem where a petitioner must first understand the legal wrangling necessary to show such a violation, then the next must have the where with all of documenting the abuses. The courts perhaps already know this, and perhaps so does the DOC, hence yet another example of abuse.
Wrapping it up in a nut shell - this is why I am homeless. I am not willing to sit here and play dead, and it appears DOC and the CCO's (6 so far) have all have had enough of my legal shenanigans, so much so that they are willing to push the legal envelope and make an effort to make me suffer. The real issue, is that it is obvious, that with suffrage comes a price.
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