So yesterday my mother got the word that Arizona approved my transfer. I left a message with my CCO, and with the duty reporter of the day, as well as voice mail for the field administrator who bogarded my 11:00 meeting today. Which meant I went to the DOC twice today. Which a bit of a walk.
Rushing to get to me legal meeting when 12:00 came around waiting to speak to someone within the DOC, was nerve racking as the meeting I was having was with an attorney to help me litigate the law suite I have agasitn DOC. Ironically, for some of the very issues I am having here.
But, NOW she is telling me she will not call anyone until I give her the paper work that says AZ approved me.
We do not get these paperwork. It was a curiosity call from Arizoan to my mom. They faxes Washington the paperowrk on Monday. now, since she is out of the office she is not goign to adress it till Monday. Just liek all the never addressing the addresses.
I can not believe these people, here. She claims without it she will not make a phone call o the ICAOS since I am taking too much of her time.
But, wasn't her that helped perpetuate this homelessness?
I am at lsot of words.
Peace.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
.. [ 78th day of out of control system ] ..I advocate carefulness in your reporting and I entertain the need of a comprehensive value-add proposition
Dear legislators, in reviewing the framework of your legislation in HB 1133 - 2007-08, Monitoring sex offenders. I was concerned that there appeared to be no oversight and allotment of any real-world cost analysis to public safety benefit in the report slated for delivery on or around December 31, 2007.
It appears, and what I see lacking, are no controls for oversight or identification of a benefit analysis to align the proposition that the dollars earmarked for this legislation is to enhance public safety and should be reconciled against a zero tolerance towards sex offender and recidivism in the community?
Providing the goal is not simply to implement technology on sex offenders, because it is feasible to do so, there could be no other resultant affect of any monitoring tool? The fact remains to date, no country has dealt with such a panacea as we see today regarding sex offenders. American public opinion is devoted not only financially but emotionally, to pay the costs to assure known sex offender criminalised are either incarcerated, kept on a short leech, or driven out of almost every community that elects to do so.
The concept of zero tolerance, in today's wake of legislation, is not only pushing the brink of sentencing, post conviction requirements, but as well broadening the ability for prosecutors to prosecute. In this vain, I entertain, that if this is the goal then a more comprehensive plan must be devised, than ad-hoc emotionally charged disparate legislation. Which often needs retooling, whenever a new unacceptable crime is committed. Thus curtailing problematic and costly revisions of old ideas yet again not working.
To move away from being recognized a few years from now as just another 'feel good' sex-offender law against the most-despised it is imperative to sit and retrace how and where the laws of come to date, and evaluate what, if any have we learned.
When we review these laws it must be openly evaluated as to the change and the empirical data as towards the tools enhancement of public safety. The benefits of each tools cost-effectiveness. The tools ability to deliver or change recidivism of sex offenders. And a cost analysis of program effectiveness to public benefit, perceived or not. There is no question that perception often out weighs actual relevance. But, in this case, it becomes the duty of the government to assure that perceived panacea, is in fact reality.
Today there appear to be many gaps in how the current system can benefit from electronic monitoring. Being a sex offender, regardless of how I got here, I can say the current identification process is week at its very foundation. The creation of the PSI (pre-sentence investigation inventory). Here the DOC interjects it first subject analysis of an offender. (It is important to note, although a defendant can object to the material within the PSI, if is very often allowed to be maintained as-is and as factual throughout an offenders DOC life span).
Currently, with this type of structure, the down-stream reports are compounded by an opion never mitigated or corrected by the current system. For example, in my PSI my attorney objected to it in its entirety, the judge accepted the objection, and ruled on my sentence without its use. But, for every report thereafter, made my the DOC the objected to report was used by the DOC.
If we were to conitue with this type of maligned procedural characterization of offenders, adding onto it a tool that electronically monitors offedners, becomes superficial, for the electronic monitoring tools functionality, although in isolation has value, will only have the ability to enhance public safety when it is worn by a correctly identified wearer.
The concern is not only in the effectiveness of monitoring and the benefit perceived or not. But is the current system capable enough to even properly identify a potentially at risk to reoffend sex offender? The answer is in the facts. No. In the current system the DOC controls all upstream reports which the local police department accepts as the representative profile of an offender. The PSI, LSI, CHI, RMA currently are developed through DOC administrators who have a limited amount of investigative police, therapeutic, and social service tool sets, and a magnitude of responsibility for reporting valid opinions that can later be used singuarily to represent a sex offenders risk in the community.
Although on it its face this lends to a high degree of capriciousness, in laying out the activity seen in the trenches, it is the departments best practice. In allowing these administrative type officials to make critical, potentially life saving decisions, as limited experienced evaluators is connecting the dots to liability, which are resulting in inconsistent metrics of measurement and a classifications scheme that relies more on subjectivity than objectivity, and dtractions from community safety.
The fact remains that any identification system that relies on subjective questioning and answering will always lend itself to skewed results. Even in the most conscientious examinees. Thus, when devoting a program utilizing any subsystem tool, such as electronic monitoring, it too will become prone to its antecedents failures.
This issue is concerning, as if not recognized and given its greater worth, will divert much needed resources, opposed to funneling it towards the greatest perception of need. I advocate carefulness in your reporting and I entertain the need of a comprehensive value-add proposition which puts the problem directly in hand and enhances a system that accumulates to safety to the community, and lives.
Peace.
It appears, and what I see lacking, are no controls for oversight or identification of a benefit analysis to align the proposition that the dollars earmarked for this legislation is to enhance public safety and should be reconciled against a zero tolerance towards sex offender and recidivism in the community?
Providing the goal is not simply to implement technology on sex offenders, because it is feasible to do so, there could be no other resultant affect of any monitoring tool? The fact remains to date, no country has dealt with such a panacea as we see today regarding sex offenders. American public opinion is devoted not only financially but emotionally, to pay the costs to assure known sex offender criminalised are either incarcerated, kept on a short leech, or driven out of almost every community that elects to do so.
The concept of zero tolerance, in today's wake of legislation, is not only pushing the brink of sentencing, post conviction requirements, but as well broadening the ability for prosecutors to prosecute. In this vain, I entertain, that if this is the goal then a more comprehensive plan must be devised, than ad-hoc emotionally charged disparate legislation. Which often needs retooling, whenever a new unacceptable crime is committed. Thus curtailing problematic and costly revisions of old ideas yet again not working.
To move away from being recognized a few years from now as just another 'feel good' sex-offender law against the most-despised it is imperative to sit and retrace how and where the laws of come to date, and evaluate what, if any have we learned.
When we review these laws it must be openly evaluated as to the change and the empirical data as towards the tools enhancement of public safety. The benefits of each tools cost-effectiveness. The tools ability to deliver or change recidivism of sex offenders. And a cost analysis of program effectiveness to public benefit, perceived or not. There is no question that perception often out weighs actual relevance. But, in this case, it becomes the duty of the government to assure that perceived panacea, is in fact reality.
Today there appear to be many gaps in how the current system can benefit from electronic monitoring. Being a sex offender, regardless of how I got here, I can say the current identification process is week at its very foundation. The creation of the PSI (pre-sentence investigation inventory). Here the DOC interjects it first subject analysis of an offender. (It is important to note, although a defendant can object to the material within the PSI, if is very often allowed to be maintained as-is and as factual throughout an offenders DOC life span).
Currently, with this type of structure, the down-stream reports are compounded by an opion never mitigated or corrected by the current system. For example, in my PSI my attorney objected to it in its entirety, the judge accepted the objection, and ruled on my sentence without its use. But, for every report thereafter, made my the DOC the objected to report was used by the DOC.
If we were to conitue with this type of maligned procedural characterization of offenders, adding onto it a tool that electronically monitors offedners, becomes superficial, for the electronic monitoring tools functionality, although in isolation has value, will only have the ability to enhance public safety when it is worn by a correctly identified wearer.
The concern is not only in the effectiveness of monitoring and the benefit perceived or not. But is the current system capable enough to even properly identify a potentially at risk to reoffend sex offender? The answer is in the facts. No. In the current system the DOC controls all upstream reports which the local police department accepts as the representative profile of an offender. The PSI, LSI, CHI, RMA currently are developed through DOC administrators who have a limited amount of investigative police, therapeutic, and social service tool sets, and a magnitude of responsibility for reporting valid opinions that can later be used singuarily to represent a sex offenders risk in the community.
Although on it its face this lends to a high degree of capriciousness, in laying out the activity seen in the trenches, it is the departments best practice. In allowing these administrative type officials to make critical, potentially life saving decisions, as limited experienced evaluators is connecting the dots to liability, which are resulting in inconsistent metrics of measurement and a classifications scheme that relies more on subjectivity than objectivity, and dtractions from community safety.
The fact remains that any identification system that relies on subjective questioning and answering will always lend itself to skewed results. Even in the most conscientious examinees. Thus, when devoting a program utilizing any subsystem tool, such as electronic monitoring, it too will become prone to its antecedents failures.
This issue is concerning, as if not recognized and given its greater worth, will divert much needed resources, opposed to funneling it towards the greatest perception of need. I advocate carefulness in your reporting and I entertain the need of a comprehensive value-add proposition which puts the problem directly in hand and enhances a system that accumulates to safety to the community, and lives.
Peace.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
.. [ 77th day of deludge ] ..It is about DOC doing their job and protecting the community!
Yesterday and today my new DOC officer gave me some quotable quotes, that are worth mentioning, as they reflect the deluge of troublesome over sight these people work within. This is not government lethargy, this is plain abuse of administrative power given to people who have let society motivate them to do bad things, opposed to staying within the spirit of the law:
" ... well I get to go home every night and sleep on a bed .. ""
"... o'yeah 'CCO' is in Olympia, and she says 'Hi.' ... " [ said with sarcasm ]
" ... O I am sorry, I called and left a message .." [ Yes, finally I submitted the address 13 days ago, in which the previous CCS, the person I submitted it to, and finally her, all said they would research it that day? This is not responsibility, this is irresponsibility. I am glad she has a bed to sleep in, I would wish the hard floor on noone. ]
"... everyone within the DOC knows who you are ..." [ which I respond, then why has nothing been done ]
"... well it depends on what kind of attention you want ..." [ No your wrong for I am asking for something simple; quit playing games, I have researched well over 2000 criagslist postings, and the few who have responded I have submitted. In each case everyone has been played games. Either, never calling. Waiting till someone else researches it. O wait, this BLOG says it all no more rant. ]
However the DOC position themselves, their exists the troublesome outstanding issue; that it has now been 77 days since the DOC capricosuly threw me out of my residence, never mitigating housing issues for an alleged level III sex offender who has been given the highest reoffend score, written about viciously in reports with unqualified accusations, and has emphasized when violated, he needed to spend maximum time in jail for the protection of the community. There is nothing more than simple to this matter, the DOC is horribly dysfunctional, and showing signs of it.
It is unfortunate the organization that can be quoted as saying that thy all know who I am, has yet to find a true leader. One that can accomplish a simple task. Mitigate the perceived risk of level III sex offenders.
In a gist, we have the media pounding how we must enact laws that are nothing more than feel good legislation. We have DOC officers who are acting capriciously, then covering their tracks through scrupulous report writing techniques. We have, allegedly all of DOC, knowing who I am, and none of them with the leadership to do the right thing.
This isn't about the DOC needing more funding, or about needing monitoring tools, such as ankle bracelets, this is about the DOC protecting the community, with the richest tool they have - common sense.
It is obvious every night as I sit in the shelter, watching the DOC play games of semantically working on approving addresses, I am reminded, that as the shelters fill, there is no need for more jails or a new DOC facility, there is a need for the organization charged with safety of known criminals to act, not punitively, but instead responsibly.
It is about DOC doing their job and protecting the community!
Day number 77.
Peace.
" ... well I get to go home every night and sleep on a bed .. ""
"... o'yeah 'CCO' is in Olympia, and she says 'Hi.' ... " [ said with sarcasm ]
" ... O I am sorry, I called and left a message .." [ Yes, finally I submitted the address 13 days ago, in which the previous CCS, the person I submitted it to, and finally her, all said they would research it that day? This is not responsibility, this is irresponsibility. I am glad she has a bed to sleep in, I would wish the hard floor on noone. ]
"... everyone within the DOC knows who you are ..." [ which I respond, then why has nothing been done ]
"... well it depends on what kind of attention you want ..." [ No your wrong for I am asking for something simple; quit playing games, I have researched well over 2000 criagslist postings, and the few who have responded I have submitted. In each case everyone has been played games. Either, never calling. Waiting till someone else researches it. O wait, this BLOG says it all no more rant. ]
However the DOC position themselves, their exists the troublesome outstanding issue; that it has now been 77 days since the DOC capricosuly threw me out of my residence, never mitigating housing issues for an alleged level III sex offender who has been given the highest reoffend score, written about viciously in reports with unqualified accusations, and has emphasized when violated, he needed to spend maximum time in jail for the protection of the community. There is nothing more than simple to this matter, the DOC is horribly dysfunctional, and showing signs of it.
It is unfortunate the organization that can be quoted as saying that thy all know who I am, has yet to find a true leader. One that can accomplish a simple task. Mitigate the perceived risk of level III sex offenders.
In a gist, we have the media pounding how we must enact laws that are nothing more than feel good legislation. We have DOC officers who are acting capriciously, then covering their tracks through scrupulous report writing techniques. We have, allegedly all of DOC, knowing who I am, and none of them with the leadership to do the right thing.
This isn't about the DOC needing more funding, or about needing monitoring tools, such as ankle bracelets, this is about the DOC protecting the community, with the richest tool they have - common sense.
It is obvious every night as I sit in the shelter, watching the DOC play games of semantically working on approving addresses, I am reminded, that as the shelters fill, there is no need for more jails or a new DOC facility, there is a need for the organization charged with safety of known criminals to act, not punitively, but instead responsibly.
It is about DOC doing their job and protecting the community!
Day number 77.
Peace.
Monday, September 24, 2007
.. [ 76th day of being held hostage ] .. I am sure, he would have put a stop to this madness.
You know, if a person was held hostage for 76 days, the world would be in an uproar.
But, if a sex offender is held at hostage, it is called doing a great job.
There is a certain theme in the sex offender policy makers here in Washington. It appears to be postulated, "if a person is characterized as the most despised and then designated as a level III sex offender then he should be kept hostage until his keepers feel they are just."
But, who watches the keepers? Especially, keepers who are skilled at perpetuating the problem instead of solving are mitigating it?
That is the sex offender system we have here today in Washington. I can not forget how many times CCO's have told me, while smiling as they drove me to jail for yet another capricious violation, "It is what society wants."
This system calls for CCO's to write in reports, their opinions, then portray them as fact to the general public. With these same very opinions will then be used in Civil Commitment hearings for alleged sexual predators, or on a witness stand as character witnesses. There they will spill their opinion, allegedly based on years of experience, that the person in front of them are a danger to society. Sure, they may say the opposite, but really what kind of hearing would that be?
Today. I had the same CCO, who now is my new CCO, tell me 'your last CCO restricted you from an area' when I yet again submitted a new addresses, of so many that I have stopped counting. Trying to mitigate my own precarious homelessness, it is ironic that my now new CCO forgot that it was her alone who told me I was to be out of the U.District 76 days ago, 'by July 4 at 5pm.' And it was the very same CCS who prior to that date refused me to move to a place in Revenna, I provided days before.
In fact it as well this very same CCS, the other CCS was just recently replaced, who said, 'Nope, Ravenna is too close.' And would not allow me to stay at the Franklyn downtown, where other sex offenders live, allegedly due to 'safety reasons'. It is this same CCS, who used to be my CCO, who drove me out of the U.District area by pushing my last CCO to do his dirty work for him. Just like he tried before, but then the DOC had a bright star, a CCS, who only lasted several months. When I heard he left I had to send him an email telling him 'your a good man, I am sorry to see you leave.' I am sure, he would have put a stop to this madness. 76 days ago!
I sometimes feel bad when I look at the legal documents in front of me. I sometimes wonder, if that basketball player CCO will turn sour too? I sometimes look at the few I see with respect and I wonder, how long will it take before they too forget why they are really here.
Protection of the community.
Protection of the community.
Wait - wait - who am I - o yeah I forgot ... I am allegedly the bad wolf. The very same bad wolf that when it is important to justify long violations, or a capricious elevation from level I to II, then an aggravation from II to III, or in scoring that LSI or that CHR, or the PSI or that RMA I am the worst-of-worst, and that extraction from my home, where there is safety, is imperative! Imperative to the safety of the community. I do not forget, that the very CCO who is no longer my CCO, was in fact taken to my last address by my now new CCO.
Yeah, it is ways easy to describe a bad apple: All you have to do is write the words for this story. My fingers are tired. And ultimately, since this is more an inconvenience-than-not, I can only yet again emphasis my point.
No one cares about the safety of the community in the current system. They care more about what they appear to be doing.
The writing is on the wall, and I think I need to make an apple pie. Today is the 76th day. Tomorrow my 46th birthday. I reveal in what I see. For I know I am not homeless, I am being made homeless, to prove a point.
The question is, who will stop the madness? Because, you do know I am not hired to mitigate my own risk, and only find it refreshing to note, that my only vices are in writing these words.
Every morning I am awoken by a person in the shelter that says, 'the beat goes on, the beat goes on.' How appropriate, I just feel sorry for the next victim by some sex offender, who does not have my coping skills, or does have bad vices, and out of frustration commits new crimes at the hands of these very maligned CCO's behaviors.
Peace.
But, if a sex offender is held at hostage, it is called doing a great job.
There is a certain theme in the sex offender policy makers here in Washington. It appears to be postulated, "if a person is characterized as the most despised and then designated as a level III sex offender then he should be kept hostage until his keepers feel they are just."
But, who watches the keepers? Especially, keepers who are skilled at perpetuating the problem instead of solving are mitigating it?
That is the sex offender system we have here today in Washington. I can not forget how many times CCO's have told me, while smiling as they drove me to jail for yet another capricious violation, "It is what society wants."
This system calls for CCO's to write in reports, their opinions, then portray them as fact to the general public. With these same very opinions will then be used in Civil Commitment hearings for alleged sexual predators, or on a witness stand as character witnesses. There they will spill their opinion, allegedly based on years of experience, that the person in front of them are a danger to society. Sure, they may say the opposite, but really what kind of hearing would that be?
Today. I had the same CCO, who now is my new CCO, tell me 'your last CCO restricted you from an area' when I yet again submitted a new addresses, of so many that I have stopped counting. Trying to mitigate my own precarious homelessness, it is ironic that my now new CCO forgot that it was her alone who told me I was to be out of the U.District 76 days ago, 'by July 4 at 5pm.' And it was the very same CCS who prior to that date refused me to move to a place in Revenna, I provided days before.
In fact it as well this very same CCS, the other CCS was just recently replaced, who said, 'Nope, Ravenna is too close.' And would not allow me to stay at the Franklyn downtown, where other sex offenders live, allegedly due to 'safety reasons'. It is this same CCS, who used to be my CCO, who drove me out of the U.District area by pushing my last CCO to do his dirty work for him. Just like he tried before, but then the DOC had a bright star, a CCS, who only lasted several months. When I heard he left I had to send him an email telling him 'your a good man, I am sorry to see you leave.' I am sure, he would have put a stop to this madness. 76 days ago!
I sometimes feel bad when I look at the legal documents in front of me. I sometimes wonder, if that basketball player CCO will turn sour too? I sometimes look at the few I see with respect and I wonder, how long will it take before they too forget why they are really here.
Protection of the community.
Protection of the community.
Wait - wait - who am I - o yeah I forgot ... I am allegedly the bad wolf. The very same bad wolf that when it is important to justify long violations, or a capricious elevation from level I to II, then an aggravation from II to III, or in scoring that LSI or that CHR, or the PSI or that RMA I am the worst-of-worst, and that extraction from my home, where there is safety, is imperative! Imperative to the safety of the community. I do not forget, that the very CCO who is no longer my CCO, was in fact taken to my last address by my now new CCO.
Yeah, it is ways easy to describe a bad apple: All you have to do is write the words for this story. My fingers are tired. And ultimately, since this is more an inconvenience-than-not, I can only yet again emphasis my point.
No one cares about the safety of the community in the current system. They care more about what they appear to be doing.
The writing is on the wall, and I think I need to make an apple pie. Today is the 76th day. Tomorrow my 46th birthday. I reveal in what I see. For I know I am not homeless, I am being made homeless, to prove a point.
The question is, who will stop the madness? Because, you do know I am not hired to mitigate my own risk, and only find it refreshing to note, that my only vices are in writing these words.
Every morning I am awoken by a person in the shelter that says, 'the beat goes on, the beat goes on.' How appropriate, I just feel sorry for the next victim by some sex offender, who does not have my coping skills, or does have bad vices, and out of frustration commits new crimes at the hands of these very maligned CCO's behaviors.
Peace.
.. [ forty-one days greater than one ] ... "Because, I want to help you, and I think I know how."
forty-one days greater than one
When I was a kid I always dreamt of being a forest ranger. It motivated me from six the grade to a sophomore in college...
When I was a kid
and I passed through slip 'n slide
I dreamt of Yogi
Boobboo and the 'pick 'nick baskets a'glore.
When I was a bopper
I prayed born again prayers
never listened to records backwards
and prayed through osmosis
electron magnitude
and derivatives
praying each day of passing all
four years of English
math
and science so I could
sit and pray in a forest alone with god.
When I was in college I realized
God never meant me to be alone in a forest
and made me gay!
I sometimes wonder what my CCO's dreamt of when they were a little kid. I bet it was not about making sure they forced dreamful people on the streets. I bet it wasn't about making sure they used the small bit of power the courts call discretion, to make sure they did everything in their control to manipulate and hold dominion over their wards, even when their perception is absolutely wrong.
I bet, ah who cares! You can't change bad people, with dark hearts, you can only give them power. I am amazed on how I walk the halls of this department, always asking myself the same question when I meet a new or old CCO, "So why are you really wanting to work in the special sex offender unit?"
So far, I have only found that the SDRP department, has ever answered my question the way I thought was right, "Because, I want to help you, and I think I know how."
Peace.
When I was a kid I always dreamt of being a forest ranger. It motivated me from six the grade to a sophomore in college...
When I was a kid
and I passed through slip 'n slide
I dreamt of Yogi
Boobboo and the 'pick 'nick baskets a'glore.
When I was a bopper
I prayed born again prayers
never listened to records backwards
and prayed through osmosis
electron magnitude
and derivatives
praying each day of passing all
four years of English
math
and science so I could
sit and pray in a forest alone with god.
When I was in college I realized
God never meant me to be alone in a forest
and made me gay!
I sometimes wonder what my CCO's dreamt of when they were a little kid. I bet it was not about making sure they forced dreamful people on the streets. I bet it wasn't about making sure they used the small bit of power the courts call discretion, to make sure they did everything in their control to manipulate and hold dominion over their wards, even when their perception is absolutely wrong.
I bet, ah who cares! You can't change bad people, with dark hearts, you can only give them power. I am amazed on how I walk the halls of this department, always asking myself the same question when I meet a new or old CCO, "So why are you really wanting to work in the special sex offender unit?"
So far, I have only found that the SDRP department, has ever answered my question the way I thought was right, "Because, I want to help you, and I think I know how."
Peace.
Friday, September 21, 2007
.. [ thirty-nine days greater than one ] ... Sometimes you have to start over with a new wardrobe! But, the secret of true leadership is the knowing
When I consider what is really going on. The players. The gamers. The politics within the DOC, the politics without. There is a stigma I just can not get passed.
The stigma was ingrained in me when I worked as a consultant for county governments traveling all over the United States. In this consulting capacity and meeting certain political positioned types of officials, who were in desperate need of out companies services, after two and a half years - I left that company.
Not because I did not like the work. Or perhaps some of the people, or etc.. What I hated was the perception of lethargy that was instilled in these workers. I hated the way of doing business, opposed to the need of doing business. There was one constant pestering in my mind, one that was a reminder of a lesson I learned, yet again, from my mother who worked for the Department of Economic Security and other agencies.
Living this lethargy now, as an adult, brings to me words from her daily complaints during that time: '..they keep giving people who do not need food stamps - food stamps - and the people who do not know the procedures nothing.. Isn't that what we are supposed to be here for? So when I help them my supervisors get mad?'
Now although, this has nothing to do with my situation, it is a catalyst that drives me. My mother quit after 17 years of struggling to help the system help the people. I remember as a teenager telling her, 'Mom, do you think that is the right thing?', her answer, 'I can not stand seeing people play politics, manipulate people, and pretend to be doing something on paper, then positioning themselves to look like they are doing the right thing, when in fact they are not. I need peace of mind, my retirement will do.'
Wow, I remember thinking as a teenager, how could it be that bad, and how could it drive her so patiently? Privately, I was ashamed of my mother for quitting the fight. I felt she should have driven harder, driven to make the right change, the change she so well knew was needed.
Ha, now I see.
Today is the seventy-sixth day that should have never been greater than one. I am technically classified as a level III sex offender. And this state has no clue, for it is true by facts, that how I got here was based on over zealousness, callousness, and a critical slice of internal job mobility. It is disturbing that whenever a report is written, that justifies long incarceration time or when they want to demonize me to the community, they always talk about how much of a danger I am in the community.
None of this equates to government responsibility, or public safety, for now it has been 76 days, and the DOC of Washington has not a care, about mitigating a "perceived risk", that only exists when they want it to be convenient. Or like I was told today, 'where too busy'.
The change of guard, informed me that sure the address I submitted will eventually be verified, '.. but they are really busy and they can not jump to my wishes.' Hm, I wonder, I am asking to be placed back in the University district, in a different home, by the same landlord. There is not really anything to verify? That can not be seen on Google maps.
But, then again, I have to remind myself, I know the game, for it is now been since July 4, 2007, let me do the math, 24 + 31 + 21 = 76 days, since I presented the now new CCS several addresses, that where outside the University District area, and he told me they were too close.
Tonight, walking to the UGM, I will walk with a smile. For I have heard back from Arizona and their intentions in regards to my transfer to Arizona. Now to watch to see what I have learned from this conversation. But, in the end I am afraid, my experiences within the government sector, the private sector, and what I taught people who finally 'come out of the closet':
Sometimes you have to start over with a new wardrobe! But, the secret of true leadership is in the knowing! May not come to fruition. I have become a doubting-thomas, and I have lived a nightmare.
I am not a gambler, but I am laying $20 on this one!
Peace.
The stigma was ingrained in me when I worked as a consultant for county governments traveling all over the United States. In this consulting capacity and meeting certain political positioned types of officials, who were in desperate need of out companies services, after two and a half years - I left that company.
Not because I did not like the work. Or perhaps some of the people, or etc.. What I hated was the perception of lethargy that was instilled in these workers. I hated the way of doing business, opposed to the need of doing business. There was one constant pestering in my mind, one that was a reminder of a lesson I learned, yet again, from my mother who worked for the Department of Economic Security and other agencies.
Living this lethargy now, as an adult, brings to me words from her daily complaints during that time: '..they keep giving people who do not need food stamps - food stamps - and the people who do not know the procedures nothing.. Isn't that what we are supposed to be here for? So when I help them my supervisors get mad?'
Now although, this has nothing to do with my situation, it is a catalyst that drives me. My mother quit after 17 years of struggling to help the system help the people. I remember as a teenager telling her, 'Mom, do you think that is the right thing?', her answer, 'I can not stand seeing people play politics, manipulate people, and pretend to be doing something on paper, then positioning themselves to look like they are doing the right thing, when in fact they are not. I need peace of mind, my retirement will do.'
Wow, I remember thinking as a teenager, how could it be that bad, and how could it drive her so patiently? Privately, I was ashamed of my mother for quitting the fight. I felt she should have driven harder, driven to make the right change, the change she so well knew was needed.
Ha, now I see.
Today is the seventy-sixth day that should have never been greater than one. I am technically classified as a level III sex offender. And this state has no clue, for it is true by facts, that how I got here was based on over zealousness, callousness, and a critical slice of internal job mobility. It is disturbing that whenever a report is written, that justifies long incarceration time or when they want to demonize me to the community, they always talk about how much of a danger I am in the community.
None of this equates to government responsibility, or public safety, for now it has been 76 days, and the DOC of Washington has not a care, about mitigating a "perceived risk", that only exists when they want it to be convenient. Or like I was told today, 'where too busy'.
The change of guard, informed me that sure the address I submitted will eventually be verified, '.. but they are really busy and they can not jump to my wishes.' Hm, I wonder, I am asking to be placed back in the University district, in a different home, by the same landlord. There is not really anything to verify? That can not be seen on Google maps.
But, then again, I have to remind myself, I know the game, for it is now been since July 4, 2007, let me do the math, 24 + 31 + 21 = 76 days, since I presented the now new CCS several addresses, that where outside the University District area, and he told me they were too close.
Tonight, walking to the UGM, I will walk with a smile. For I have heard back from Arizona and their intentions in regards to my transfer to Arizona. Now to watch to see what I have learned from this conversation. But, in the end I am afraid, my experiences within the government sector, the private sector, and what I taught people who finally 'come out of the closet':
Sometimes you have to start over with a new wardrobe! But, the secret of true leadership is in the knowing! May not come to fruition. I have become a doubting-thomas, and I have lived a nightmare.
I am not a gambler, but I am laying $20 on this one!
Peace.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
.. [ day greater than one ] ..
So I honestly think I lost count! LOL
Tonight when I check into my homeless shelter (UGM) I will figure out the count, since they keep miticulous track.
But, yeah, I am still homeless. Yesterday was a bit of a frustrating day. There is a lot to talk about. But, a lot I think I need to keep in.
So I will.
So yeah, yesterday was a very fruitful day. Usually, around this time music typically pops in my head and I psot a song of how I am feeling. But, today the only music I feel are the ones that the over teh counter cold medicine has not alleviated, and the ones of my feet.
Blisters, everywhere. I have never seen so many blisters on my feet! They are rubbed so raw that I swear it looks like a foot sufferring from leprorsy. Hm ...
I need to go sit some palce warm and fight this cold.
Peace.
Tonight when I check into my homeless shelter (UGM) I will figure out the count, since they keep miticulous track.
But, yeah, I am still homeless. Yesterday was a bit of a frustrating day. There is a lot to talk about. But, a lot I think I need to keep in.
So I will.
So yeah, yesterday was a very fruitful day. Usually, around this time music typically pops in my head and I psot a song of how I am feeling. But, today the only music I feel are the ones that the over teh counter cold medicine has not alleviated, and the ones of my feet.
Blisters, everywhere. I have never seen so many blisters on my feet! They are rubbed so raw that I swear it looks like a foot sufferring from leprorsy. Hm ...
I need to go sit some palce warm and fight this cold.
Peace.
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