I have to be honest. When I go to the Urban Rest Stop, I feel like I am in a Five Star Homeless Shelter.
Where is there justice, if I am not deprived of humanity?
Peace.
Friday, September 7, 2007
Thursday, September 6, 2007
.. [ day twenty-three ] .. the system is failing, and these failures are perpetuating the very things we can control to make a change, and protect
OK,
Today was a busy day. After my long day of homage, I had a full day getting from place to place. Choosing to walk this time, since, I am gaining way too much weight.
I got an email, from a fellow activist, who was going to be at the meeting in Tacoma for the girl who recently was raped and murdered by a level I sex offender. I really wanted to go. First because, it disturbs me, that such a young girl and family had to pay with her life.
And as well, I really believe, although you can not prevent people who are prone to murder from murdering (Minority Report), psychologists have shown that managing depression is the best way to make help people who have been found to have this type of propensity. And importantly, I think this girls life could have been saved, but I really don't think the right questions are being asked.
If I had the ability to ask the questions, I would ask:
1. Can serial murders, rapists or criminals be stopped from committing crimes?
2. Are criminals committing these types of crimes, similar in what triggers them to commit crimes?
3. Can depression intervention prevent people who have been found to be prone to committing crimes?
4. Is our penal system doing enough to manage depression if this helps people who are identified as high risk to recidivate?
5. Is our judicial system doing enough to manage depression if this helps people who are identified as high risk to recidivate?
6. Is our legislature doing enough doing enough to manage depression if this helps people who are identified as high risk to recidivate?
I then would add my two cents of personal experience, by telling of an experience I had just today in the lobby and speaking to DOC CCO's and other sex offenders.' I have interjected by impressions of what I saw in italics after each statement:
..To my question of what is going on with the Mountlake Terrace address submission, I gave over 30 days ago, my CCO answered, so un carrying, 'No, the address in Mountlake Terrace, there is still no word.' Nor is there ever going o be a word. Since, it does not matter what you have written in the chrono logs, or said you did by fax, if you don't want the transfer, it will never happen. It has now been over 30 days since I first gave you the address, it is clear you want me homeless. Do you really think that when us sex offenders sit in this office, we do not talk, and we do not share stories, that you do this and similar things to everyone? It is obvious, you love the fact I am homeless, and you have absolutely no concern, because you know what we all know, most of us level III sex offenders are not a danger to society. You manage maybe 25 people, and you can not make sure a level III is not homeless?
..'So you are taking a shower everyday, where?' Quit looking at me with baited breadth, predator, like I told you yesterday, less than 18 hours ago, the Urban Stop is an amazing place that cares about people who are homeless.
..'I want you here between 8 and 9 each morning' So you made me homeless so that you can force me to come here every day and submit to 'your heiress?' This is more than punishment, this is a mental mind game. Luckily, I know the quickest way with dealing with being abused, is to know that your abuser is wrong!
..'So where are you going in the morning?' I need to know so I can touch you, because if I touch you every day ever hour I am mitigating risks.
..'What time does the UGM have you come in?' The UGM has told me that you guys have come by on more than one occasion looking to see if I am really here. They have told me, you have looked through the log book, you know I am here, quit asking me stupid questions. They are not even rhetorical, and they only emphasis by point that you have no clue on what are the right triggers.
The list goes on, but honestly, who cares. It is obvious the reason there is a meeting in Tacoma is because some poor family and their daughter got snatched, then murdered, by a level one sex offender; who the system after 17 years of implementation, have absolutely no way of anticipating propensity for a person to commit such a heinous crime.
But, could have they?
We have spent millions on building databases, hiring Special Offender Units, and we still are having horrendous crimes being committed. The very time these millions where spent on process and people, I proposed several years ago to Harold Clarke, that the very tools being they are so reliant upon, the LSI, CHS, RMA, etc.. to evaluate risks of offender's, where being implemented in such a manner that subjectivity disturbing. This objectivity was skewing facts and propagating misstatements of truths, and giving the state and public a false impressions of risk management.
My response? Well, none from the man himself, but Rob McKenna, the undersecretary of he DOC at the time, did take the time to respond: His response amounted to, 'we evaluated and have had the appropriate people look in to your complaint.' Their response, 'it appears you need to seek solution at the lowest level, then if that does not solve the problem, resend a complaint.'
I love the 'lowest level' response. It in effect says, we take our process over your belief that we should be accountable. Familiar, with the failed and very abusive use of lowest level solutions from Corporate America, I recognize that DOC actions are abusive and self perpetuate lack of accountability.
It is plain to see the the system is broke, and being in the trenches, I see now years later, the results of those ignored complaints, and it is soundly saying that not only is the system broke, but the DOC has now implemented some form form of internal self-healing, through a lowest level resolution policy, that is the purest form of governmental subterfuge. In my own personal experiences I find the following actions by the Special Offender Unit within DOC disturbing, and use the following facts as support:
1. The system makes sex offender's homeless, even when they have means of support.
2. They belittle sex offenders until they break and some commit violations!
3. Then they write in crono logs their unqualified opinions, that turn into facts the can use later be used as evidence during civil commitment hearings, or to raise their sex level registration levels.
4. In addition, the sex level registration process is broken. It is capricious in its implementation, and then the courts do nothing in real time to make it accountable!
5. The DOC special sex offender unit, writes in chronological logs, facts that are not representative of their supervisee. Then they arrest and incarcerate a person for tape recording their illegal activities, without first verifying the law supports their actions. Then abuse the court system, by making offenders initiate litigation to prove they are acting inappropriately.
6. The DOC along with the Seattle Police Departments, special sex offender units, work in tandem to propagate reoffend rates, by pushing sex offender's into positions of homelessness, feelings of lack of self worth, and no ability to develop self concept. These all anger the most sane of people and drive others to physical anger, depression and abuse! Ultimately, become the very triggers that contribute negatively to self worth and reentering society in a positive manner.
After speaking with countless sex offenders who are whispering, in fear of being retaliated against, I do not feel I am being harsh in any way, and am clearly delivering reflections of many sex offenders I have met.
What everyone is forgetting, is that sex offenders are forced into treatment, and in treatment, they are learning that their CCO's have no clue of what generates reoffense triggers.
I once heard a governor state, 'Our DOC officers are professionals.' I immediately wanted to get on line and send an email and say, 'they are not professionals for they show every sign of being vigilantes' and they surely are not trained as therapists, psychiatrist, psychoanalysts, the list goes on, for if they were, they would not be doing the very things that create anger and the triggers which commit crimes. A few days ago I got a correspondence in the mail offering me the opportunity to be a DOC officer, I read it and thought, OMG.
What I find fascinating, is that when I read the reports that have been written about me, and a few of others who have shared them with me, I see a common theme, a theme of deception in regard to triggers, triggers that are not representative of the offender's actual behavior. Today, as I was waiting for my CCO to see me. I saw a CCO come back from court, dressed up and looking rather dapper. In his hands a stack of cases. Poor guys, I thought, poor guys, where are their advocates? The ones that at minimum assure they are being represented to the community properly.
The decks are stacked. There is no words that can describe the abuse of a system that perpetuates the very actions which they purport to prtoect.
All of this of course creates anger, and I have more than not, have heard sex offenders talk about being forced into feelings of not being human, being forced to feel strong emotions that attack their very self worth. I have great empathy and sympathy for people who carry a burden of suffrage, even those who have committed very disturbing crimes. Especially, when it is evident they are working to set right, and the system is working so hard to against the very things that can create success.
Luckily, I suffer from homosexuality, and I learned a long time ago to ignore people 'who just don't get it'!
I do believe we can never stop crimes, and we do have the power to manage those that have committed crimes. But, the system is failing, and these failures are perpetuating negatively the very things we can control to make a change, and protect our communities.
Peace.
Yes he has died :( ...
... homage is in order ...
Today was a busy day. After my long day of homage, I had a full day getting from place to place. Choosing to walk this time, since, I am gaining way too much weight.
I got an email, from a fellow activist, who was going to be at the meeting in Tacoma for the girl who recently was raped and murdered by a level I sex offender. I really wanted to go. First because, it disturbs me, that such a young girl and family had to pay with her life.
And as well, I really believe, although you can not prevent people who are prone to murder from murdering (Minority Report), psychologists have shown that managing depression is the best way to make help people who have been found to have this type of propensity. And importantly, I think this girls life could have been saved, but I really don't think the right questions are being asked.
If I had the ability to ask the questions, I would ask:
1. Can serial murders, rapists or criminals be stopped from committing crimes?
2. Are criminals committing these types of crimes, similar in what triggers them to commit crimes?
3. Can depression intervention prevent people who have been found to be prone to committing crimes?
4. Is our penal system doing enough to manage depression if this helps people who are identified as high risk to recidivate?
5. Is our judicial system doing enough to manage depression if this helps people who are identified as high risk to recidivate?
6. Is our legislature doing enough doing enough to manage depression if this helps people who are identified as high risk to recidivate?
I then would add my two cents of personal experience, by telling of an experience I had just today in the lobby and speaking to DOC CCO's and other sex offenders.' I have interjected by impressions of what I saw in italics after each statement:
..To my question of what is going on with the Mountlake Terrace address submission, I gave over 30 days ago, my CCO answered, so un carrying, 'No, the address in Mountlake Terrace, there is still no word.' Nor is there ever going o be a word. Since, it does not matter what you have written in the chrono logs, or said you did by fax, if you don't want the transfer, it will never happen. It has now been over 30 days since I first gave you the address, it is clear you want me homeless. Do you really think that when us sex offenders sit in this office, we do not talk, and we do not share stories, that you do this and similar things to everyone? It is obvious, you love the fact I am homeless, and you have absolutely no concern, because you know what we all know, most of us level III sex offenders are not a danger to society. You manage maybe 25 people, and you can not make sure a level III is not homeless?
..'So you are taking a shower everyday, where?' Quit looking at me with baited breadth, predator, like I told you yesterday, less than 18 hours ago, the Urban Stop is an amazing place that cares about people who are homeless.
..'I want you here between 8 and 9 each morning' So you made me homeless so that you can force me to come here every day and submit to 'your heiress?' This is more than punishment, this is a mental mind game. Luckily, I know the quickest way with dealing with being abused, is to know that your abuser is wrong!
..'So where are you going in the morning?' I need to know so I can touch you, because if I touch you every day ever hour I am mitigating risks.
..'What time does the UGM have you come in?' The UGM has told me that you guys have come by on more than one occasion looking to see if I am really here. They have told me, you have looked through the log book, you know I am here, quit asking me stupid questions. They are not even rhetorical, and they only emphasis by point that you have no clue on what are the right triggers.
The list goes on, but honestly, who cares. It is obvious the reason there is a meeting in Tacoma is because some poor family and their daughter got snatched, then murdered, by a level one sex offender; who the system after 17 years of implementation, have absolutely no way of anticipating propensity for a person to commit such a heinous crime.
But, could have they?
We have spent millions on building databases, hiring Special Offender Units, and we still are having horrendous crimes being committed. The very time these millions where spent on process and people, I proposed several years ago to Harold Clarke, that the very tools being they are so reliant upon, the LSI, CHS, RMA, etc.. to evaluate risks of offender's, where being implemented in such a manner that subjectivity disturbing. This objectivity was skewing facts and propagating misstatements of truths, and giving the state and public a false impressions of risk management.
My response? Well, none from the man himself, but Rob McKenna, the undersecretary of he DOC at the time, did take the time to respond: His response amounted to, 'we evaluated and have had the appropriate people look in to your complaint.' Their response, 'it appears you need to seek solution at the lowest level, then if that does not solve the problem, resend a complaint.'
I love the 'lowest level' response. It in effect says, we take our process over your belief that we should be accountable. Familiar, with the failed and very abusive use of lowest level solutions from Corporate America, I recognize that DOC actions are abusive and self perpetuate lack of accountability.
It is plain to see the the system is broke, and being in the trenches, I see now years later, the results of those ignored complaints, and it is soundly saying that not only is the system broke, but the DOC has now implemented some form form of internal self-healing, through a lowest level resolution policy, that is the purest form of governmental subterfuge. In my own personal experiences I find the following actions by the Special Offender Unit within DOC disturbing, and use the following facts as support:
1. The system makes sex offender's homeless, even when they have means of support.
2. They belittle sex offenders until they break and some commit violations!
3. Then they write in crono logs their unqualified opinions, that turn into facts the can use later be used as evidence during civil commitment hearings, or to raise their sex level registration levels.
4. In addition, the sex level registration process is broken. It is capricious in its implementation, and then the courts do nothing in real time to make it accountable!
5. The DOC special sex offender unit, writes in chronological logs, facts that are not representative of their supervisee. Then they arrest and incarcerate a person for tape recording their illegal activities, without first verifying the law supports their actions. Then abuse the court system, by making offenders initiate litigation to prove they are acting inappropriately.
6. The DOC along with the Seattle Police Departments, special sex offender units, work in tandem to propagate reoffend rates, by pushing sex offender's into positions of homelessness, feelings of lack of self worth, and no ability to develop self concept. These all anger the most sane of people and drive others to physical anger, depression and abuse! Ultimately, become the very triggers that contribute negatively to self worth and reentering society in a positive manner.
After speaking with countless sex offenders who are whispering, in fear of being retaliated against, I do not feel I am being harsh in any way, and am clearly delivering reflections of many sex offenders I have met.
What everyone is forgetting, is that sex offenders are forced into treatment, and in treatment, they are learning that their CCO's have no clue of what generates reoffense triggers.
I once heard a governor state, 'Our DOC officers are professionals.' I immediately wanted to get on line and send an email and say, 'they are not professionals for they show every sign of being vigilantes' and they surely are not trained as therapists, psychiatrist, psychoanalysts, the list goes on, for if they were, they would not be doing the very things that create anger and the triggers which commit crimes. A few days ago I got a correspondence in the mail offering me the opportunity to be a DOC officer, I read it and thought, OMG.
What I find fascinating, is that when I read the reports that have been written about me, and a few of others who have shared them with me, I see a common theme, a theme of deception in regard to triggers, triggers that are not representative of the offender's actual behavior. Today, as I was waiting for my CCO to see me. I saw a CCO come back from court, dressed up and looking rather dapper. In his hands a stack of cases. Poor guys, I thought, poor guys, where are their advocates? The ones that at minimum assure they are being represented to the community properly.
The decks are stacked. There is no words that can describe the abuse of a system that perpetuates the very actions which they purport to prtoect.
All of this of course creates anger, and I have more than not, have heard sex offenders talk about being forced into feelings of not being human, being forced to feel strong emotions that attack their very self worth. I have great empathy and sympathy for people who carry a burden of suffrage, even those who have committed very disturbing crimes. Especially, when it is evident they are working to set right, and the system is working so hard to against the very things that can create success.
Luckily, I suffer from homosexuality, and I learned a long time ago to ignore people 'who just don't get it'!
I do believe we can never stop crimes, and we do have the power to manage those that have committed crimes. But, the system is failing, and these failures are perpetuating negatively the very things we can control to make a change, and protect our communities.
Peace.
Yes he has died :( ...
... homage is in order ...
Wednesday, September 5, 2007
.. [ day twent-two ] .. Is it really?
Today I have been answering an answer. As I am walking back from the court house law library, and doing my weekly check-in, I felt a bit like a maniac ...
Yeah I used to do ballet! So what?
Yeah I used to do ballet! So what?
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
.. [ day twenty-one ] .. Purely Ironic
So this morning instead of my morning walk to bacon and eggs I took a bus ride to this fair City that has free wireless. Sitting in this Starbucks, I find myself in a pool of cops.
Yep it is the local cop hangout. I guess there must be a police station around here. I feel strangely uncomfortable. LOL.
Oh I get it now.
Peace.
Yep it is the local cop hangout. I guess there must be a police station around here. I feel strangely uncomfortable. LOL.
Oh I get it now.
Peace.
Monday, September 3, 2007
.. [ day twenty ] .. relegate to a country or place by authoritative decree
Banishment: to expel from or relegate to a country or place by authoritative decree...to compel to depart. Webster’s Unabridged Dictionary. Second Edition
I had to share this study ... "The Impact of Residency Restrictions on Sex Offenders and Correctional Management Practices: A Literature Review", By Marcus Nieto, Senior Research Specialist and Professor David Jung, Public Law Research Institute, Hastings Law School. ISBN 1-58703-214-7.
Did I ever mention I saw Thomas Dolby in concert?
I had to share this study ... "The Impact of Residency Restrictions on Sex Offenders and Correctional Management Practices: A Literature Review", By Marcus Nieto, Senior Research Specialist and Professor David Jung, Public Law Research Institute, Hastings Law School. ISBN 1-58703-214-7.
Did I ever mention I saw Thomas Dolby in concert?
Sunday, September 2, 2007
.. [ day nineteen ] ... “YOU GO GIRL!”
Today I went to Mass, and as I sat amongst the pool of small white haired people, several thoughts resonated in me. One, I hope some day I become a small person. Two, I love the “Peace be with you.” part of Mass, it feels like Christmas. Third, and finally after taking communion, passing on the wine as usual, I was sitting in the same row as two young ladies, one 94 the other 95, during the wine part of communion one of them took a very long sip of wine. The chug was so long that everyone watched in suspense wondering when she would release the kraft.
One thought filled my mind ... “YOU GO GIRL!”
Peace.
One thought filled my mind ... “YOU GO GIRL!”
Peace.
Saturday, September 1, 2007
.. [ day eighteen ] .. Sippenhaft
So those that know what "Sippenhaft" is we must never forget where we been. I am not by any means a historian. In fact one of the classes I flunked in high school, besides PE - which is ironic in itself, was World History. But, as I grew older I found that I fell in love with foreign movies. In one I heard the term "Sippenhaft" and when I took German in college, I researched its use, and was shocked at the layer of social change that Germany withstood in its history.
I guess, today I have to admit, as I did my 5:00AM walk past the many tall buildings where I use to work, I looked up past my old office, and stopped in homage of a life I used to love. Passing, these familiar buildings, and the company I used to work for, made me realize that my past will never be my future. The tag of sex offender not only impacts every element of my future, but affects every intimate detail of my family as well.
To date I have emailed over 1,000 places telling them my story trying to find a place to live. I have sent well over 3,000 emails to people on Craigslist, telling everyone my story, trying to be up front, straight forward about my situation just to get an interview. To date I have gotten a handful of returns, from passionate people who right me back. Irregardless if it is a denial, the 'Thanks, thank you for your honesty, but, we can not hire sex offenders.' I always return a reply something to the effect of, 'Thank you, for responding, it is rare and very appreciated.'
Knowing that email is not the way to find a job. I guess, I have to admit, I am embarrassed by my situation. I feel I need to create a wall of acceptance before I feel safe to arrive at their door to say, "Hello, my name is "Mr. Sex Offender and as well precariously homeless".
Blessed with a strong family, I recognize I have been given gift that not too many people in my situation have. Seems that they are thousands of miles away, I have found the skills developed while coming out, has helped me cope with general look of disgust and hate when dealing with people who find out my situation. When a stranger say 'Thank You', every so often I feel feel guilty for not telling them everything about me. It crosses my mind that I need to give them "full disclosure", then I stop myself and think, 'Dude that is really f#ck## up', what is making you feel this way?"
Demonized for the alleged safety of our future, walking passed the very same buildings, where I once sat in large conference rooms adding important input to various large corporate meetings, I feel at odds walking now homeless in front of building where I once detailed solutions of complicated matters, sometimes finding it trite, I know see its mundaneness as exhilarating. Always aware of the line between arrogance and confidence, I seemed to have excelled under stress and pressure. It is ironic that those same characteristics are the same factors considered as a risk to reoffend [1] and became a predecessor for the prosecutor to claim, "You see Mr. Homelessness is a quick thinker and a master at ..." ah who cares, it is these very type of statements that has made me lose faith in the system as it pertains to sex offenses, lets get real! But, who would guess that my previous Corporate wrangling would be the ammunition I would need to get through the trenches of prison politics and the hierarchy of the system allowing, and in one instance allowing prisoners to call sex offenders "rape-o's".
In prison, I learned to be safe, I needed to run 34 miles a week, which gave me a bi of prison 'respect'. I did what they called 'my time not anyone else's'. And I toned my ability to dodge questionable stares of are 'you's?'and avoided 'Bubba's'. It appears corporate politics was the training ground for my future of three squares and a cot.
I remembered once being told how I was too aloof and not serious enough for Corporate America, even though it was my project that was under budget and ahead of schedule. I also remember staring now in front of the same building, where several weeks after that criticism I was deep in my elevator campaign with a VP that I needed to sign-off on a process that was a much needed customer solution. She talking to me as I was giving her my 30 second 500 foot view she ells me after my spill is over, 'You know your laugher is contagious.' Caught off-guard, I was more shocked by candidness, 'It is either that or cry' as I exited the elevator and my opportunity shut as she went up to the executives floor, I remembered the blank look on her face as the door shut wondering did I make my point? Or did I accomplish what I already knew, "Mr. Homelessness your a weirdo."
Today, my posting is late. I went to my usual restaurant, had my usual bacon and eggs, and had to suffer a loss of words. But only because the restaurant has two power outlets, and both where taken! I am actually glad that happened now, for the day ended up uncomfortable, and it gave me something to talk about. The new director of the UGM held the evening prayer meeting tonight, and him and I had a small discussion after he noticed me crack my computer open so I could make this entry.
Never a loss for words, I was very nervous. (After all, I am not the best Christian in town and living under his roof made me remember that I must live by their rules. Which being a little too opinionated on the subject matter of Christianity and homosexuality I did not in any way to have this discussion.)
The director a good looking gentlemen in his early or mid-thirties, ex military type, reminded me of a person who was too young for his position, but his polish assured me that he was a professional and m fears where unwarranted. In fact, he proved to be both compassionate and very socially aware of the impact of his work. I could see as well, that his ministry work, was genuine and a natural part of who he was.
Today I preoccupied myself with art ...
[1] The LSI used in Washington state in my opinion is more subjective than accurate, and finds the study by Colorado Department of Corrections, Validation of the Level of Supervision Inventory (LSI) for Community Based Offenders in Colorado: Phase II more than highly relevant. This study claimed in 1999, "The LSI was predictive of outcome with parolees but not community corrections offenders."
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